Accidental homicide in Cihangir

A fly just descended into my cup of tea

Rested wounded for a while on a tiny plate

Then started climbing the spoon

I guess it’s not homicide after all but a gentle splash to make the fly more alive

The starfish syndrome – only when already seeing the teeth of the devouring beast

We activate our thirst for life

Start liking ourselves 

Only when licking death we cry for life

What should I do with this little fly

It fell on the plate again trembling weak

Maybe I should squish it

 

I did dream of Istanbul

The crookedness of the streets is bizarrely familiar

I can’t get lost, everywhere I go I know the way

Intertwined branches and cocoons of butterflies

A port and departure by a boat

Leitmotiv of my dreams for more than a decade

Yearning for previous times, terminal nostalgia

Eternal self-inflicted allergy to the present

As a magnet goes together with hüzün of Istanbul

And hasret of his heart

 

Where there is beautiful sea, there are beautiful women

It correlates as a perfect mathematical equation

Men are seagulls, hungry large appetites large shoulders due to swimming

Large noses and yes other extensions from sniffing all these lavish smells

That long hairs leave in the air

Power of the long hair

Quite interesting feeling to wave around with something doomed

As stigmatized code of promiscuity,

whores’ secret trademark

Promiscuity is a label given to explorers of female gender

Whoring around while the whole city is a sort of whore

Giving its finest to anyone for a certain price

 

On Istiklal chestnuts popping like bombs on the South-East

Gunshots when a boy is departing for the army

Life goes on, people keep smiling although some might end up thrown in a prison

Due to misinterpretation of their smiles

 

In Grand Bazaar everyone is looking for trouble

Carpets, earrings, spices don’t matter

It’s all about blinking smiling cheeky interactions

You pay the price of the best pick-up line

And that’s the way it should be

I have been living for too long in places without charming faces

Agile movements

Light movements through the crowd of men who carry platters of tea or bread

Heavy movements of fat mothers browsing through colorful fabric

Distance from the eyes of the public offers women comfort in pleasures of taste since touching is forbidden

Hypersexual Western appearance with eating disorder deprivation of senses

Hyposexual East moral with issues of obesity indulgence of senses

Imbalance between sex and food is interesting to observe through the existence of women in society

When body is starving for food, mind is generating obscene thoughts

When body is starving from lack of touch moist body fluids saliva

Mind demands liquids and nutritional substances from other sources, notably food

Balance between the two, two primal aspects of our animality, is the essence of health

– and nothing is more attractive than body radiating with fertility, abundance, life 

 

Scrubbing dead skin cells is crucial for health of the flesh 

– removal of dead parts with little pain

I have to start exfoliating so I can let go of dead shit

Collecting thoughts cells memories as a walking diary

Instead of changing shifting releasing rejecting

Taking in being without attaching

 

Shave head

Burn all existing clothes

Throw away old diaries

Give books to people on the street

Fast puke refill the mind with clean thoughts

Relearn to kiss, switch to new poses

Forget the smell of roses

Discover new inputs in your brain

Dance spit sleep naked pray

Eat fish scream whirl learn to play ney

Hug everyone without being afraid to feel their crotch

Kiss like there is nothing in the world beside the lips you're kissing

No other person but the one attached to the lips

Forget Rijeka Istanbul Prague

Placelessness, adaptability as in a cat

Nurture own stubbornness and praise autonomy

Touch with all ten fingers

Love openly

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Published in Hourglass Literary Magazine, issue 1, 2016.